.____.

I cried tday.

I think after school, after i realised 2 things, one of which is private; n th other of which wz tht my laptop wz NOT saved at all, im sorry t say, om ismail. I appreciate ur effort tho, it made me happy for 24 hours.
I cried rite after i sholat zuhur; with md behind me only of course she cudnt c or hear.

I came home from school all chirpy cz of some mock results i received tday.
In geo, i got a, ummm.. 69 out of 120 i believe, 58%. I got th 2nd highest mark with 81% bein first XD Lol. huge difference!
Anyhow, i got 2/20 for topic 1, which wz 'water' XDXDXDXD and my best topic wz topic 5, migration, with 17/20 8] I love u migration <3

It was of a HUUUUUGE relief when i found out tht a 58% wz a B! yeahh!! Iman, who sed tht th exam wz easy [me shaza n madusa sed it wz hard], got way worser than us XDXD MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! In her face! xp


OK, so anyhow, in maths, we got our mock results then too.
I braced myself.
*lalalala*
I expected shiny marks.
Yeap, i got em. Alhamdulillah x]
Paper 2: 59/70 = 84% A. tht wz th best paper 2 ive ever done out of all th other >6 paper 2s ive done for practice ever! XD
Paper 4:: 81/130 = 62% B. i gotta say, tht paper wz OK bt ther wer questions tht wer pure hell so .. yeah x.x;; of course saba th genius got 103.. HOW DOES SHE DO IT??!!
At th end of maths, at 12:30, i hadta go t this stupid beauty institute interview in th boys block. We hadta fill out a survey abt this university or somethin openin up tht teaches beauty therapy n i went like blekkkkkkhhh except th part abt facial treatment cz hell yeah i need tht .________.;;

I glanced at my watch n it sed 12:42, and i knew how late my watch is from th bell.
So i made a run for it, back t th girls block.
I lukd at th door and saw Hamzah walkin outside alone, i lukd at him for a second n just as we passed by i shouted 'Hi' and he sed 'hi' too, loudly, for once; bt i stared ahead. I appreciated tht too.


Bt I dd not acknowledge wt happened thru th rest of th day.


It was morbid. Devastating. T me, tht is. After school I turned on my laptop as normal, n began installing windows live mess. n my mouse, as ordinarily as can be.
When i wnted t exit some stuff from this google thing tht appears at th side of th desktop, i saw those green n red pixel-y things tht used t arise bfore dad lent th laptop over t om ismail.

I thot it wz just a minor problem. Bt i grew worried when th antivirus detected a f***in virus tht had th word 'silly' in it. Stuuupid. *who wudnt swear in this kind of situation? dont worry i never swear out loud; well, last week i dd accidentally. bt it wz th S word, n it wz bcuz of chemistry. x____x;; *dd i mention this bfore?

Then, th screen started blinking again. Ya Allaahhh. *now thts better :]
I rebooted th system, in hopes tht it wz all just yet another tiny error thtll go away bcuz th virus wz in quarantine. I dont think i shud hope ever again.
Hoping only makes my life worser, cz i expect better, bt gain worser. Yes, im young, and im hopeless-wannabe. I often say t myself 'dont get ur hopes up' bt i end up doin so anyway. Wt can i do t stop this? God, help me, amin. I know im a gud girl. I know i am. T____________T


I read Nakayoshi after shutting th laptop down whilst waiting for dad t wake up t report t him abt th accident. 3pm; 4pm. It was time t pray, and just as i wz wearin my abaya t play outside, dad passed by n i told him.
Time t go to jarir. it rele wz wt we shud have done in th first place.
Outside, i glanced t my rite n saw indra, fajar, n kids.
I searched for farah n nisa n turns out they wer at nisa's.
J'ai aidé nisa avec lui devoirs. *i hope tht makes sense x.x
C'était un logo de photoshop. *i hope tht makes sense too XD
De toute facon; or wtever, we sprang outdoors n i rode fajar's bike around th compound, then met up with th rest afterwards.


I totally forgot wt we did - just random stuff actually. Fiddled with th bike, kicked balls [ckcck u negatip thinkers *if any xD], talked, ladidadida.
I forgot why + how; bt somebody sed i liked indra. n i wz like, 'nooo!!!' and then fajar exclaimed, 'bs likes another guy!' and nisa who wz beside me sniggered 'iwann~' THEN i said loudly 'nooo bs kan suka indra' x__________________x;; *or somethin along those lines, i forgot.
i had NO IDEA y i sed tht. it wz embarassing. i do not, in any way, like tht guy; no offence. x.x;; They teased me t death; altho obviously th girls n fajar knew exactly who i like- love, actually. -/////////-;; *i wish i can blush > <

Hhe. So anyway, after tht, th Adzhan boomed and fajar's bike wz in major error and so ppl tried t fix it. I wz waitin for smething; bcuz of tht i refused t take farah home - sorry farah ._.;; As usual, i ended up waitin for nothing.
Something happened tho tht got me kinda .. quizzical. Wont tell wt it is :b


I carried my laptop to th VW beetle whilst eating Krispy Kreme doughnuts, yum yum.
Tht Qosmio G30 is indeed a PAIN t bring around with one arm with. x.x;;
Th ride wz TERRIBLY long. From 5:50-ish til 6:20 x_____x;;
I suffered listenin t techno n songs from th 1980s-1990s.
In jarir, turns out we hadta walk to th side of it t find th repair centre.
It seemed like a 1km walk.
We waited for a long time t get t our turn, n ther wz a problem with th serial number, which th jarir ppl from 1 1/2 years ago seemed t scratch th number off of th receipt; n wrote a different one.
It wz a loong hassle bt they accepted th warranty n told us t wait for more than 1 week til th fixing is done.
Alhamdulillah they agreed t fix th laptop.
Not alhamdulillah by th fact tht th hardware is busted n i mite lose evry single one of my files unlike th time om ismail brot it t his home. Th hardware hadta b brot from Germany. Guten abend. 8] xDXDXXDX

Th ride back home wz less weight-y, bt my throat wz so dry cz ther wz no drink n th sugar from Krispy Kreme sucked up all th remaining H2O. *sigh*
At home, i tackled ocha's laptop.

I thot i wud be free after th mocks; playin with my laptop n watchin evry single ep of Tengen Toppa Gurren-Lagann til my eyes turned sore; finishin off my Ps7 drawin tht i am so grateful t Allah tht i backed up in my USB; n well- i thot i wud b happier.

Nothing changes so easily, does it.
If anybody reads this, maybe then theyll know y i seem so depressed all th time ...